Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
