3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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