so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Church boner. Awkwardddd
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
