So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
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