the new term for farting is butt boxing.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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