can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
