You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
