Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
