he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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