Apparently you make a good broom.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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