Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Randomize
