we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
