i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
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