Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
