so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
