C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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