butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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