I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
