I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
