I molested 6 butterflies tonight
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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