So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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