he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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