I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
