In the future we'll all be gay
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
