google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Success! We fucked roommates!
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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