Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
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