sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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