Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
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