Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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