K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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