A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
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