Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
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