i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
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