I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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