NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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