I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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