Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
