I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
