I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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