Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
