Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
