I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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