you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
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