We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Randomize
