I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
He felt like a one man threesome
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
