if you like me you must not know who I am
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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