At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
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