WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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