No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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