Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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