He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
